Never been near a university
Never took a paper or a learned degree

And some of your friends think that's stupid of me
But it's nothing that I care about

Well, I don't know how to tell the weight of the sun
And of mathematics well, I want none
And I may be the mayor of simpleton
But I know one thing and that's I love you

When their logic grows cold and all thinking gets done
You'll be warm in the arms of the mayor of simpleton

I can't have been there when brains were handed round
Please be upstanding for the mayor of simpleton
Or get past the cover of your books profound
Please be upstanding for the mayor of simpleton

And some of your friends thinks it's really unsound
That you're ever seen talking to me

Well, I don't know how to write a big hit song
And all crossword puzzles, well I just shun
And I may be the mayor of simpleton
But I know one thing and that's I love you

I'm not proud of the fact that I never learned much
Just feel I should say, what you get is all real
I can't put on an act, it takes brains to do that anyway
And anyway

And I can't unravel riddles problems and puns
How the home computer has me on the run
And I may be the mayor of simpleton
But I know one thing and that's I love you, I love you

If depth of feeling is a currency
Please be upstanding for the mayor of simpleton
Then I'm the man who grew the money tree
No change of office and no hope of getting one

Some of your friends are too brainy to see
That they're paupers and that's how they'll stay

Well, I don't know how many pounds make up a ton
Of all the Nobel prizes that I've never won
And I may be the mayor of simpleton
But I know one thing and that's I love you, I love you

When all logic grows cold and all thinking gets done
You'll be warm in the arms of the mayor of simpleton
You'll be warm in the arms of the mayor of simpleton
You'll be warm in the arms of the mayor

Please be upstanding for the mayor of simpleton
Please be upstanding for the mayor of simpleton
Please be upstanding for the mayor of simpleton
Please be upstanding for the mayor of simpleton
Please be upstanding for the mayor of simpleton