I dated Siamese Twins, I slept with Bigfoot, too
Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right now

My dog's a narcoleptic, my mom's a circus freak
I gotta get a spot on Geraldo's show this week
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right now

I'm just an anorexic, codependent, bingo, addict
Stripper born without a chin
And I'm only comfortable talking about it
When the whole wide world is listening in

Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
(Listen to me, listen to me)

My wife ran off with Elvis, my boss shaved off my hair
I've got a thing for poodles and rubber underwear
And I wanna tell the world about it
Right now

I had a close encounter, I never chew my food
I got eleven nose jobs, I yodel in the ****
And I wanna tell the world about it
Right now

I'm just a cross-dressin', alcoholic, neo-Nazi
****o star, as you may have guessed
And I'm really gonna feel a whole lot better
If you let me get this thing off my chest

Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
(Listen to me, listen to me)

I'm just your average schizophrenic, nymphomaniac
Albino go-go dancer, you see
Nothin' so bad that I can't share it
With a billion friends on national TV, whoa

I have no *******ia, I sold my kids for cheese
I love my blow up doll, so bring out those cameras, please
'Cause I gotta tell the world about it
Right now

Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
(Listen to me, listen to me)

Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
(Listen to me, listen to me)

Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
(Listen to me, listen to me)

Talk soup
Talk soup
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
(Listen to me, listen to me)