And now's it time for
Obscure Broadway Show Tunes with Larry
The part of the show where Larry comes out
And sings an obscure Broadway show tune
Without further ado from the unknown musical
'Office Supplies', the heart-rending love song
'Where Have All The Staplers Gone?'

We don't have much time before the big meeting
No, no, we don't
Have you seen the scissors, miss?
They're in the bottom drawer

I tried that drawer but they're there no more
That's odd
I know I thought for sure
Have you seen the masking tape?

It's right next to the phone
That's what I thought but now's it not
I guess I should have known
Oh, where have all the staplers gone?

What happened to our paper clips?
The ballpoint pens are gone again
They're gone again
The stick-it pads have lost their stick

Do you remember when
The rubber bands were in their place?
They're in the middle drawer
Middle drawer, middle drawer

Light bulbs easy to replace
Yes, there were always more
Reams of paper raining down
Raining, raining down

Legal pads a plenty, we're legal
Highlighters in every hue, I remember
Never less than twenty
Oh, where have all the staplers gone?

What happened to our paper clips?
The ballpoint pens are gone again
They're gone again
We've run out of packing slips

Someday my prints will come
Please replace the toner
Someday we'll find more of
Our manila folders

Someday my prints will come
Where's the printer cable?
Someday we'll find more of
Adhesive shipping labels
Oh, where have all the staplers gone?

What happened to our paper clips?
Paper clips
The ballpoints are gone again
They're gone again
The Sharpies all have flattened tips
Where have all the staplers gone?

This has been Obscure Broadway Show Tunes with Larry
Tune in for act two, revenge of the Staplers