I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire
I own a mansion, and a yacht and a car, and a plane, and a gun
And a drum machine, drum machine, drum machine
I own a drum machine, drum machine, drum machine

There's a band in the studio right next to us
We think that their brains are filled with pus
We wish that they'd go home on a bus
And take their drum machine, drum machine, drum machine
They have a drum machine, drum machine, drum machine

I am Mr. Eddie's father
My partner is Uncle Norman, Eddie plays with Mrs. Livingston
And his drum machine, drum machine, drum machine
I bought him a drum machine, drum machine, drum machine

I am an antichrist-a, I am an anarchist
I know what I want and I'm gonna get
A drum machine, drum machine, drum machine
I want a drum machine, drum machine, drum machine

There's a band in the studio right next to us
We wish that they'd get hit by a bus
And leave their drum machine to us
We want their drum machine, drum machine, drum machine
We need a drum machine, drum machine, drum machine

We really need a drum machine
We could write lots of songs that are really keen
And get on MTV and be seen
If we had a drum machine, drum machine, drum machine
We need a drum machine, drum machine, drum machine

The perfect Christmas gift to a band from its fans
Is a drum machine we don't know how to use one
But we could learn
If it came with instructions that would be real good
We could write lots of good songs
With a drum machine, drum machine, drum machine
We need a drum machine