Aight, *****, funky mother***king fresh
Some of that '93 old school ****, hoe

Well, I'm Too $hort baby, hear what I say
I never do work but I always play
'Cause the game is life and I play the game
So you never talk down on a player's name
When I grab my mic, I'm the one man crew
Talking 'bout me, wouldn't think about you
When you heard Too $hort came to town
You never would've thought I'd be looking down

On who, on you, 'cause I'm so big
Me and my money is all I dig
I'm from the Dangerous Crew, we ain't no punk
We take 24 tracks, drop the funk on your ***

Beating like a dope fiend
Back seat riding in a Limosine
Telling that freak all about me
The creater of greater, sucker MC's
Chilling out in the Oaktown singing a rap
No MC could rock like that
Now I say it like *****es say
No MC could rock my way

When I rap it's always great
Wouldn't care if it was live or on a tape
It's me, $hort, the one and only
Spitting that rap to all my homies
You know about you, you know I'm a star
When I rap too good I might take it too far
Had the whole damn crowd going wild
'Cause I don't stop rapping, that's my style

Too $hort baby from East Oakland
I got more hoes than I can count on my hand
You got women, well, I got more
You don't know, ****, I'm Playboy $hort
They call me, 'Playboy $hort' known everywhere
Had a life long dream to be a player
Way too cold at a younger age
It was everyday, just make that page

Still playing the same, still young at the game
Never talk down on a player's name
'Cause I'm big time, paid all my dues
I'm rich and famous and way too cool
People can't ***k with the way I'm rhyming
They say it's too slow but it bought these diamonds
Too $hort baby is the name I use
A '93 Lexus is what I cruise

Clean from the start, I thought I was it
I was Cadillac Slick in the dust I kick
But the Caddy got parked 'cause I'm riding new
Eastside *****, so I'm siding, fool
Money everywhere, all over the floor
At the bank I'm known as, 'Mr. $hort'
At the house I be chilling, getting some head
Writing raps all day, even in bed

And them groupie-*** *****es love this ****
The funk rap master, made to fit
Just her, I'm all in them guts
Homeboy can't ***k so I hooked it up
But young women like you with your big round butts
Blind girls driving down the street called, 'Love'
Chasing that man, who really can't stand
Seeing your face so now you ran

And you don't realize what you'll soon see
The way making love is supposed to be
With a player known as Playboy Too
Rock a mic and a freak and you'll both be through
Players play women who like to get played
*****ed like you just trying to *** ****
But I like money and I get paid
I do my duty and say, 'Good day'

I didn't want to make love, I'm not that fast
What the hell, she's a freak, she even asked
So let's go to my room after the show
Tr*** ** like a pimp and pay me hoe
You can suck my **** and I might sing
Just love Too $hort, I'm everything
So cool, my name is Too
Call it how you want but I won't call you

Ring my phone and you might see
Ringing my phone just won't get me
'Cause I'm hard to find but I get mine
And if I was looking for you, I wouldn't be in line
I'd be right on time in the right place
Too $hort baby all in your face
Talking bout mine and what I want
***king MC's with the dangerous funk

I'm on my way to the top
So much rapping I'll never stop
And all that fame, you might claim
Couldn't stand up by my rap name
You might be good, I don't care
I've been rapping like this 13 long years
I got more respect then you'll ever get
'Cause I don't stop rapping and you know that ****

Sucker MC's with your record deal
Most tapes out now couldn't be real
'Cause your tracks ain't ****, dreaming 'bout hits
But you'll find out Too $hort don't quit
When I grab my mic I'm the one man crew
Talking' bout me, wouldn't think about you
When you heard Too $hort came to town
You never would've thought I'd be