This is my first wedding, can I hope it is my last?
Things would be fantastic if me and the bride didn't have a past
So, I stand by the buffet and submerse myself in brie
I'm tactically positioned, yeah, because the bar is near
And the champagne's for free

This is my first wedding, can I hope it p***es quick?
If I've got no feelings for her then why is my stomach feeling so sick?
As they dance to their soppy song, I pray it isn't love
'Cause she's my heartless ***** that I just can't seem to get enough of

She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful
She'll steal your mind first then your car
She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful
Blame it on an evil twist of fate that she created from the start

Just one more single malt then it's off to bed for me
My head is spinning 'round and my legs are break dancing
(He's pissed)
I only meant to say farewell but I spilt more than my drink
I can't remember exactly what I said
But I remember being chased up the street

She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful
She'll steal your mind first then your car
She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful
Blame it on an evil twist of fate that she created from the start

She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful
She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful
She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful
She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful

She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful
She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful
She's not that beautiful