Baby, if you ever took the time to worry
About something that might actually come true
You could dance around the issue, curtsy and surrey
And baby, surrey is a word I hardly ever use

All it took to do the Wolfington Brothers in
Was a carafe of wine and 50 feet of stereo wire
The country squire made a furious din
As he pulled with a nervous grin and said
'There's a black hole here, his name is Kim'

High atop the Fishtown Laundromat
Broadcasting my love for you like a tacky dress
I'm just a murderer and I'm slow, I never wanted you to go
Through all the trouble of having to find my suicide note

Baby, if you ever really took the time to wonder
About the brutality 'tween the beggar and the prude
Don't it make you're hips sway to hear his car drive away?
'Cause surrey is a word I hardly ever use
And freedom is a thing I'm dying to abuse

I know your love for me is an embarrassing ruse
But that's just something to which I must get used