I'd start with the boys that hang at the pier
Like bats in the night get tangled in your hair
I'd take away the weekend shore leave lovers
That flood the ports with drunken tales of far away

I'd take away the Eiffel tower
I'd take away the port of Spain
I'll take your yellow coat
No more romantic walks in the pouring rain

Then I'd make washboard, wind-blown
Sea-side, serenading, prep school boys disappear
That flock in the summer like gulls to the beach
And pick at your heart like the garbage on the street

I'll take away all the things
That make you look away from me
I'd take away everything
Then I'd have you all to myself

I'd take away the guy with the monkey wrench smile
He'll steal your heart away and make a Minnesota mile
Like a corner store crook on a prison break
Or a ****o queen in a party cake

I'd take away the Spanish steps
I'd take away the Golden Gate
I'll take away everything
Just to have you all to myself
All to myself, yeah

I never thought it'd get this bad inside of me
I never thought that I'd be so consumed with jealousy
I need you every night and every day in bed
These thoughts keep spinning in my head

Then I'd make the big screen, battle-scarred
Bold-faced, leading man lone star heroes disappear
That fill your heart with thoughts of being swept away
But that's a part a man like me could never play

I'll take away all the things
That make you look away from me
I'd take away everything
Just to have you all to myself
All to myself

Oh let's make it funky guys
Yeah, I know you can do it
James, James, oh yeah
B***, oh yeah
Do you, do you like it? Yeah