I'd like to introduce myself, I'm Nicholas Foster
I'm not the best looking guy you'll find
But I enjoy Camel Reds and a good piece of Bocelli
And when I've had a few too many, I do things I regret
So I walked over to the bar to meet my friend

Yup, that's Mikey, pint in hand
Looking for any mischief he can find
And I knew I shouldn't but temptation got the best of me
Why do I do all these things to hurt you?

It's a lie, nonsense, he's full of ****
Mother ***ker would be lucky if he could find his ****
I was gonna let it slide, turn the other cheek
But I overheard the ******* as he started to speak

She was Foster's once but now she's mine
And that poor old ***k, he doesn't even have a clue>
I'm going to kill him
Followed the ***k, as he went to take a piss
Crept into the alley, fingers turned to fists

Stayed silent, put my hands around his neck
Looked into his face and sunk the gl*** into his ******
A surge of blood, a moment p***ed
I couldn't think, I couldn't move

With every second waiting there
Was something they could prove
Smiled, felt relief as his breath became shy
His body lay limp, I had taken his life, no, no, no

So I woke up like it was any other Sunday
Had a cup of black coffee, read the paper
And had one of my favorite ***s
Felt right as rain until the phone rang, hello

Who's this?
Oh, Officer Sloan
I was, uh
No I wasn't there actually

Um, Ray Wells Ray Wells, doesn't ring any bells
The 31st, I was out of town, yeah, that's right
On business in fact, ya see
I was with my bird, we're in love