No wide-eyed, eager, wholesome
Innocent Sunday school teacher for me
That kinda girl spins webs no spider ever
Listen boy, a girl who trades on all that purity
Merely wants to trade my independence for her security

The only affirmative she will file refers to marching down the aisle
No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess, no sir
For no Diana do I play faun, I can tell you that right now

I snarl, I hiss, how can ignorance be compared to bliss?
I spark, I fizz for the lady who knows what time it is
I cheer, I rave for the virtue I'm too late to save
The sadder but wiser girl for me

No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby, no sir
That kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew
I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance
No dewy young miss who keeps resisting
All the time she keeps insisting

No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent female, no sir
Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish, you see? Plop

I flinch, I shy when the lass with the delicate air goes by
I smile, I grin when the gal with a touch of sin walks in
I hope, I pray for Hester to win just one more A

The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me
The sadder but wiser girl for me