Huh, the kind of girl
That works in Harvey Nicks, yeah
Is the kind of girl
That's got ***king barely rounda bags

And I don't mean bags, bags
I mean like shopping bags, serious
I never liked Dry Your Eyes anyways
The only person that liked it was my mum

You know what I mean?
'Cause man had flippin' overalls on
The pretty bird behind the tills
Takin' the piss outta man
Even giving man no help

When I drop in Harvey Nicks
To shop in Harvey Nicks
If I don't look hardly slick
Or appear hardly fit

The cashier don't hardly trip
The lady hardly flits
Unless I'm wearing barmy ****
Or garments that are the ****

When I drop in Harvey Nicks
To shop in Harvey Nicks
If I don't look hardly slick
Or appear hardly fit

The cashier don't hardly trip
The lady hardly flits
Unless I'm wearing barmy ****
Or garments that are the ****

The last time we was in here
We just lined with despair
The pretty bird behind the till
Was flipping through Marie Claire

Flicking the end of her hair
Fidgeting, all nervous
Had us thinking
'Where the ***k is the customer service?'

Must have been the flippin'
Shabby overalls we're wearing
And the batch of Cl***ics
That were on the verge of tearing

'Cause aunty's front room
Needed redecorating
So we painted it light blue
To make it look more radiant

But today that ain't the case
(Na mate)
It's Lionel Scott cardigans
That us man were dreamt in

The pretty bird behind the till's
Grin is so blatant
And suckin man's bottom
'Cause she must think we got the papers

So from this day forth, we must always recall
Never ever to come back in here in overalls
'Cause pretty birds behind tills
They don't like to smile and talk
To breh's bowling down in ***king overalls

When I drop in Harvey Nicks
To shop in Harvey Nicks
If I don't look hardly slick
Or appear hardly fit

The cashier don't hardly trip
The lady hardly flits
Unless I'm wearing barmy ****
Or garments that are the ****

It's as if she's never
Seen our mugs in here before
'Cause as soon as we was about to make a move
She released the door

Pointing her finger at her ***istant
To attend to both of our needs

Chucking an opener on the counter
Strutting towards Teddy and me
Now it's all a guided tour
Through the Lacoste, new seasons

Compliments on our retirements
Mixing, offering us greetings
Not to mention the welcome
And the private seating

That they usually use
For the service ****s
With the request to them
To bring the teas in

But the other day, that weren't the case
Na mate
It was her on the phone to the security guard
To follow us for no damn reason

Lookin down at our watch
Giving us the cold shoulder tr*****nt
Asking us if we could hurry up
'Cause they were closing early that evening

So from that day forth, we have always remembered
Never ever to wear overalls, it's just absurd
'Cause overall, all over, overalls don't work
'Cause now that we're in London
It's got the bird flicking up her skirt

When I drop in Harvey Nicks
To shop in Harvey Nicks
If I don't look hardly slick
Or appear hardly fit

The cashier don't hardly trip
The lady hardly flits
Unless I'm wearing barmy ****
Or garments that are the ****

When I drop in Harvey Nicks
To shop in Harvey Nicks
If I don't look hardly slick
Or appear hardly fit

The cashier don't hardly trip
The lady hardly flits
Unless I'm wearing barmy ****
Or garments that are the ****

When I shop at Harvey Nicks
Everyone thinks I'm a star
'Cause I wear my rented blazer
And I step out my rented car

A little girl with a pen ran up to me
And said, 'I know who you are'
But when I gave her my autograph
She said, 'Mum, is this how you spell Lemar?'

When I shop at Harvey Nicks
The security give me grief
They must think I'm a thief
'Cause I don't sound like the streets

Even when I'm just trying it on
They think I'm trying it on
I said 'why would I steal from you? I'm loaded'
Then they called the police
'There's a guy with a gun'

Despite this, I like shopping here
'Cause it's a lot quicker than eBay
I bumped into this Labour MP
Who was looking for a pair of CK

I said,'Hi, I'm Sway
And I hope you're having a nice day'
Then I slapped him in his face
And said,'What type of party doesn't have a DJ?'

I remember the first time I came here
I was shoplifting and got nabbed
In the shop lift I got grabbed
'Hey you, excuse me, open your bag'

I got put in a pair of handcuffs
All for a pair of cufflinks
I said,'Please sir, don't send me to prison
If it's anything like Butlins'

When I drop in Harvey Nicks
To shop in Harvey Nicks
If I don't look hardly slick
Or appear hardly fit

The cashier don't hardly trip
The lady hardly flits
Unless I'm wearing barmy ****
Or garments that are the ****

When I drop in Harvey Nicks
To shop in Harvey Nicks
If I don't look hardly slick
Or appear hardly fit

The cashier don't hardly trip
The lady hardly flits
Unless I'm wearing barmy ****
Or garments that are the ****

It don't mean anything anyway man
Harvey Nicks is ****
I'm all about Selfridges
Seriously Selfridges, man

Harvey Nicks is the kind of place
Ted Mayern goes
Don't wanna shop in the same shop as him
'Cause that **** looks like a ***king clown

See what she does then
****, ****, ****
That might not be a good idea
But still