It was a dusty old night
And I'm the first to admit it
I'm sure I upset someone
But my memory has chosen to omit it

Tiny voice was telling me
I should cool it
Chewing my face off
Talking absolute rubbish

The first line hit me like a kick in the face
I thought I better have another just in case
Next thing I knew my heart was under attack
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back

One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back

I'm always trying to keep my vices under wraps
But a coach load of mutes would appear talkative chaps
They seemed fit to join me for a couple of hits
But my septum is in tatters and I've still got the runs

You get burn for a moment then you kick like a mule
Strangers are agreeing that it was rocket fuel
Seveal lines are chocking like a glorious game
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back

One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back

Stick it up your ***king nose! Woo, hoo!

Holy coke, repeating myself, except I'm getting slightly louder
Pausing just long enough to snort that white powder
Wheels steering off but I'm still on track
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back

One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell

One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell