Well, you're just like a club *** wearing Doc Martens
Get a pair of chukkas or some checkerboard slip-ons
Worship Jeff ****oli not Chris Cornell
Get a pair of Vans or God will send you to Hell
To Hell, to Hell

Well you think Doc Martens are the coolest invention
Since someone sliced a loaf of bread in someone else's kitchen
The plain truth is that you just plain suck
So why should I tell you not to waste a hundred bucks

Vans in my head
Vans on my feet
My sole is on the ground when
I'm walking down the street 2, 3, 4
Don't wear no Doc Martens
Can't wear no Birkenstock's
Just a crummy old pair of chukka boots
And a smelly old pair of socks?

If you want to wear them you don't have to ride a skateboard
You can even wear them with a pair of old cords
Someone'll probably tell you that they're not in trend
Just tell them that's the reason why you don't have any friends
No friends, no friends

I don't wanna hear about alternative footwear
And I don't wanna hear about your new hair-do
See I don't give a **** about you stupid mother***kers
'Cause I just wanna get a pair of olive green chukkas

Vans in my head
Vans on my feet
My sole is on the ground when
I'm walking down the street 2, 3, 4
Don't wear no Doc Martens
Can't wear no Birkenstock's
Just a crummy old pair of chukka boots
And a smelly old pair of socks?

Vans in my head
Vans on my feet
My sole is on the ground when
I'm walking down the street 2, 3, 4
Don't wear no Doc Martens
Can't wear no Birkenstock's
Just a crummy old pair of chukka boots
And a smelly old pair of socks?