I got a hangnail, what?
Got a hangnail, what?
Got a hangnail
Like you just wouldn't believe

I got a hangnail, what?
Got a hangnail, what?
Got a hangnail
And I think it's starting to bleed

I got a, hangnail stickin' out my pinky finger
And no matter how I pull it there's a tiny piece that lingers
I twist it and I yank, yank, I turn it like a crank, crank
I feel like I'm tryin' to crack a safe at a bank

I never thought that anything so small could be so irritating
Flappy thin and fascinating, cuticlely captivating
Still I'm waiting just to find a method for removal
That's effective, not su**ective, and will have my mom's approval

It gets my full attention 'til I finally get it off
It's beyond my comprehension why sometimes it's hard and soft
I don't know where they come from and I don't know where they go
But do they get the best of me, I gotta say, “Hell no”

Sometimes it takes my teeth, sometimes it takes an act of God
But I always get it off if it takes off half my bod
So check out all your fingers if you got one out of luck
Then you gotta agree with me, I tell ya, hangnails suck

I got a hangnail, here
Got a hangnail, there
They got a ****y at***ude
And they don't show any fear

I got a hangnail, here
Got a hangnail, there
And when I pull it off it
Comes out up to here!

I got a, hangnail now I'm feelin' kinda odd
Now I'm startin' to get queasy as my finger starts to throb
It's just a little flapper tell me what could be the harm
I tried to pull it off and it ripped all up my arm

I had a hangnail, there I was drivin' down I-95
And got it caught in the gear shift
And now I'm just strivin' to keep my car in the damn lane
And restrain the pain and try not to go insane

I got a hangnail, I feel so frail like Mr. Burns
And my finger burns, it never learns
Hey, what happened to the song?
I got a hangnail, so the mix came out wrong

I tell ya, hangnails make it tough to get a date
When the women see my fingers they just tend to run away
Like Friday night, started out alright but then declined
When the thing broke off and fell in my gl*** of wine

So I got rejected, hangnail got infected
Now I'm sittin' home alone pus filled and neglected
Pissed at my finger, gonna set the thing straight
If it doesn't shape up I'm gonna amputate

I got a hangnail, what?
Got a hangnail, what?
Got a hangnail
Another one is startin to grow

I got a hangnail, what?
Got a hangnail, what?
Got a hangnail
Another one on my big toe

I got a, hangnail now isn't that a pity
Launching an investigation and I'm forming a committee
Gonna get to the bottom of the problem if I can
So let's pay close attention to the matter at hand

Actually the matter's at foot this time
Got a hangnail hangin' off my toe this time
How bad could it be it's just a little flap of skin
You just gotta yank it out and then that'll be the end

Pull it out, no doubt, then I start to scream and shout
Thus begins round one of a twelve round bout
It's stuck in so hard I gotta get a pair of pliers

Now I'm gettin' kinda tired I think my foot is on fire
I gotta get a jackhammer just to dig around the nail
Now I'm gettin' kinda faint because the air is gettin' stale

I didn't use an anesthetic but I'm thinkin' that I should've
Now I got half a mind to just cut my whole foot off
Nail clippers do nothin, san**aper doesn't work
I even tried hedge clippers, now I'm really gettin' irked
This has gotta be the most annoying thing I ever saw
I may have to resort to the mighty chainsaw

I got a hangnail, what?
Got a hangnail, what?
I got a hangnail
Causing lots of pain as I walk

I got a hangnail, what?
Got a hangnail, what?
I got a hangnail
I got it caught on my damn sock

I got a hangnail, yeah
Got a hangnail, yeah
When I finally get 'em out
They leave ugly skin trails

I got a hangnail, yeah
Got a hangnail, yeah
I only got 10 fingers
I got 40 hangnails