What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now?
He'd make a plan and he'd follow through
That's what Brian Boitano do

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics
Skatin' for the gold
He did two sow chows and a triple Lutz
While wearing a blindfold

When Brian Boitano was in the Alps
Fighting grizzly bears
He used his magical fire breath
And saved the maiden's fair

So what would Brian Boitano do
If were here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an *** or two
That's what Brian Boitano do

I want this V-chip out of me
It has stunted my vocabulary
And I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone
For Wendy I'll be an activist too
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano do

And what would Brian Boitano do?
He'd call the kids in town
And tell them to unite for truth
That's what Brian Boitano do

When Brian Boitano traveled
Through time to the year 3010
He fought the evil robot king
And saved the human race again

And when Brian Boitano built
The pyramids, he beat up Kubla Kahn
'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't
Take **** from anybody

So let's get all the kids together
And unite to stop our moms
And we'll save Terance and Phillip too
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano do

And we'll save Terance and Phillip too
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano do
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano do