I met Willie by the still, he was brewin' a batch
He had a short cigar and one last match
He was tellin' me 'bout his latest troubles with the government

He had child support and alimony
He was looking depressed and kinda lonely
Just tryin' to figure out where all his hard-earned money went

'Well, I'll be go to Hell', he said
'I got nothing but a Ford and a barn full of hay
If it weren't for horses and divorces
I'd be a lot better off today'

Well, I said, 'Willie, that sounds like a song'
He said, 'Son, you know you may not be all wrong
Could you give me a little piece of the pie if you make it a hit?
I got a '51 Ford I'd like to fix up, I got two sick ponies and one sick pup
And my third wife's coming today to take my TV set'

'Well I'll be go to Hell', he said
'I got nothing but a Ford and a barn full of hay
If it weren't for horses and divorces
I'd be a lot better off today'

Well, God bless poor old Willie McCann
You know he's always been a good hard working man
He bought me a beer last night down at the 'Lost and Found'
He said, 'Horses and women are fine sure 'nuff
But if you don't treat 'em right things are gonna get rough
Believe me, I've got these four year marriages down'

'Well I'll be go to Hell,' he said
'I got nothing but a Ford and a barn full of hay
If it weren't for horses and divorces
I'd have a lot more money and less gray hair
I might even be a millionaire
If it weren't for horses and divorces
I'd be a lot better off today'