We first met we made love every hour, nowadays I always have to beg
When we first met your stomach was a six-pack, nowadays it looks more like a keg

It's too late now we're married, till we're dead and buried
You're stuck with me, and I'm stuck with you, baby it's too late and there's nothing we can do
We tied the knot, and we both have second thoughts, I got drunk and now I'm stuck with you

When we first met our love was like a flower, now it's like a weed I'd like to pick
When we first met, our love was strong and growing, now it's short and shriveled like your dick

It's too late now we're married, till we're dead and buried
You're stuck with me, and I'm stuck with you, baby it's too late and there's nothing we can do
We took our vows, and we're both sorry now, I got drunk and now I'm stuck with you

Now I share a checking account and half my money's gone
I share a bathroom with a man who can't hit the john
I got someone to nag at me and tell me how to drive
Now my life is over but my body's still alive

You're stuck with me, what did we do
Oh whatever made me stick my thing in you
We took our vows, and we're both sorry now, baby I got drunk and now I'm stuck with you
Yea the condom broke, and now I'm stuck with you
The kids aren't yours, and I'm still stuck with you