Miss Marry Ann kept her man
In porcupine gloves, in porcupine gloves
And on that day as scheduled
They made porcupine love, porcupine love

So stiff and stuck and prickly
He came in and then back out quickly
But Lord not any quicker than according to plan
Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other

Miss Marry Ann had a man
Named Stan, Stan Butler
He had no antlers, he had no center
He had no enter and he had no exit

His hair was short and prickly
He came in and then back out quickly
But Lord not any quicker than according to plan
Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other

And how he loved her apple pies
How he loved her meat loaf
How he loved her chicken breasts
How he loved her pudding

Served promptly at eight o'clock
Served promptly at seven
Served promptly at ten o'clock
And promptly at eleven heaven

Miss Marry Ann kept her cans
In alphabetical order
Miss Marry Ann began to have
Some thoughts of murder

Miss Marry Ann started to think
Real hard about her future
Miss Marry Ann preferred her meat
To be freshly butchered

Oh, she killed him rather quickly
Man that woman was truly sickly
But Lord not any sicker than according to plan
Like a soldier, one foot in front of the other

And how he loved her apple pies
How he loved her meat loaf
How he loved her chicken breasts
How he loved her pudding

Served promptly at eight o'clock
Served promptly at seven
Served promptly at ten o'clock
And promptly at eleven heaven

Miss Marry Ann kept her man
In porcupine gloves, in porcupine gloves
And on that day as scheduled
They made porcupine love, porcupine love