Somewhere far away, where I roam
There live my buffalo twin, in our twin buffalo home, sweet home
He take good care of my native son
And he call me by my native name
And he, he even lets us drink spring water on Sundays
Say, “2.99, 2.99 a gallon”
2.99, 2.99 a gallon

And somewhere further down the road, where I also roam
There lives my caterpillar cousin
Beneath a fancy engraved tomb head stone
In the middle of a southern town
Beneath the cemetery burial plot

And he, he don't pay rent no more, no more
But he sure likes the spot, sure likes the spot
Yeah, sure likes the spot, sure likes the spot
He sure likes the spot, sure likes the spot

But in the furthest place I've ever known
Where even I so rarely roam
There lives a boy who just come back from war
His flesh was wounded but he made it back home

His mother calls him by his given name
And the neighbors whisper how he prefers to be alone
And he get, he gets nightmares about boys dripping blood
Sold for 2.99, 2.99 a gallon
C'mon, just 2.99, 2.99 a gallon
Pay up, y'all, it's 2.99, 2.99 a g-g-gallon

But when I get me all real tired
And I got no more strength to roam
I catch me a horse driven carriage ride
From a local man named Ethan Frome

He don't say much as he tips his hat
And he carries his body as heavy as lead
He could have been flying through the snow on his sled
But the wife was in bed and the horses had to be fed

Besides, it's 2.99, 2.99 a story
C'mon, just 2.99, 2.99 a story
Pay up y'all, it's just 2.99 a story
C'mon, 2.99, 2.99 a story
C'mon, ya'll, it's 2.99, 2.99, 2.99, 2.99
2.99, 2.99, 2.99, 2.99, 2.99, 2.99, 2.99, 2.99

2.99, 2.99 a story
Pay up, y'all, it's 2.99, 2.99 a story
Pay up, it's just 2.99, 2.99 a story
Your money, it's just 2.99, 2.99 a gallon