Well, I've been swinging through these swinging doors for
Goin' on probably about 9 years now, maybe even 10
And I watch old Joe at the end of the bar
With another hot woman on his one good arm
And they walk out for a while and he comes back in smilin' again

So I finally had to ask old Joe, 'Man, what's your secret to success
Your power of persuasion over the opposite sex'
And he says, 'Son, well honestly, it's pretty simple'
He said, 'I just kinda walk up and buy her a drink
And open up my mouth and'

Lie
I tell her I'm a movie star
I just flew into town to buy this bar
I'm only here tonight, that's right

I gotta go, yeah
We're filming on location down in Mexico
Would you believe that I got the leading role?
That's right, honey, I beat out a lot of folks that you'd probably know

Oh, a man has got to do what a man's gotta do
Anything it takes to make her think you're cool
Ah, you got nothing to lose, so go on and try

Just walk right up and smile
And look her dead in the eye and lie
That's right, lie

So I tried and tried a couple weekends
And it was like strike 1, strike 2, strike out again
But I narrowed it down and I scratched it out
And I came up with something that without a doubt I knew

I was gonna make old Joe proud
And I go up and I'd say

Hi, honey, whatcha doing for the rest of your life?
I've been waiting such a long, long time
And you know what, honey?
Meetin' you here, man, it just really feels like fate

Oh, I, I bet you didn't see me as a marrying type
Let's take it slow, I don't just want one night, oh no, darlin'
If you're looking for that you might as well look somewhere else
Well, because I'm just not that kind of guy

And kids, oh, I love kids
Dogs, in laws and a piece of land
Dirty diapers in my mini van
Aw man, I can hardly wait

Oh, a man has got to do what a man's gotta do
Anything it takes to make her think you're cool
Aw, you got nothin' to lose so go on and try

Just walk right up, and smile, and look her dead in the eye
You know what you got to do, lie
That's right, you gotta lie, sometimes you gotta lie