Ladies and gentlemen
Welcome to the Inglewood recreation center
Up to the stage right now
The one and only Pigeon John
Get up to him, get your butt up here

Woke up in the morning with my manager yelling about
Late rent and debt with the threat of her throwing me out
I promise with a sweat bead hanging that I would pay
As soon as I get a job so, so I can stay

She said I had 2 weeks and its coming up quickly
Butt naked in the kitchen looking through LA Weekly
Searching in the Want Ads frantically
So something similar to fit my personality

And then boom that's when I saw it
A jewelry shop at Macy's
I can bird watch and make cash at the same place, G
It was cool so I signed up
Slangin' Swatch watches to all the people lined up

That's when they moved me to the Diamond Department
And applied pressure to sell a larger margin
I tried my best but I always came up short
A diamond ring salesman just wasn't my sport

There was more pressure so I had to sell something
Saw a girl in the front trying to decide want did she want
I said, 'Girl you need a ring', started selling that thing
Got excited and straight forgot to bring

The price tag to my face, the ring was 3 grand
And it was looking lovely on her pretty left hand
She bought for half 'cause I thought the tag said so
But I read it wrong, noticed when she walked out the door, I sang

Oh my God, I lost my job again
I got fired on the spot, yo, when will it ever end?
I said, 'Oh my God, I lost my job again
I got fired on the spot, yo, when will it ever end?'

Walkin' home from Macy's had to dry my tears
'Cause I only had 1 week to pay the rent, it was clear
I had to get another gig quick, asking at church
'Is anyone hiring' and it worked

I got a job in downtown as a stock clerk
Shelving and alphabetizing files like a doctor
On a patient but my boss wasn't playing with time
Brother wanted his files then now and future in line

And you know I'm not good under pressure
I act like Radio and Rain Man together
Started messin' up, losing important files and such
And finding them too late when in a crutch

My boss brought me his office for a little pep talk
'John, you can do it if you don't talk but walk'
I said that's right but I knew I was wrong

I was so scared and behind these throngs of files
They could've been anywhere in the aisles
Under the desks, behind the printers in piles
And it way past due, I turned my files in last
Not good enough, I felt my job just p***
And then I sang

Oh my God, I lost my job again
I got fired on the spot yo when will it ever end?
I said, 'Oh my God, I lost my job again
I got fired on the spot, yo, when will it ever end?'

'Have you seen John? Where's John?'
'Have you seen John?'
'Yeah, yeah, he's in the kitchen'
'Okay'

'John, what are you making coffee for?'
'You're supposed to be sorting the files'
'I was just making coffee for the whole staff'
'They don't need coffee right now'
'We need the files, that's why I came here'

'I know, sir, I, I, I just'
'Just get the job done, John'
'I'm trying my hardest, sir'
'Gee'
'I'm, I'm screwed now'

You're gonna be okay, my little boy
Just shake, shake it off and go home
You're gonna be okay, my little boy
Just shake, shake it off and go home

You're gonna be okay, my little boy
Just shake, shake it off and go home
You're gonna be okay, my little boy
Just shake, shake it off and go home

Ladies and gentlemen, I tell you what
He's hot, I told you he'd grow up
If you like what you saw
He'll be at the El Core Hotel at Las Vegas, next Saturday
God bless, guys