A good evening
Do not attempt to adjust your radio, there is nothing wrong
We have taken control as to bring you this special show
We will return it to you as soon as you are grooving

A welcome to station W E F U N K, and better known as We-Funk
Or deeper still, the mother ship connection
Home of the extraterrestrial brothers, dealers of funky music
P. Funk, uncut funk, The Bomb

Coming to you directly from the Mother ship
Top of the Chocolate Milky Way, 500,000 kilowatts of P. Funk-power
So kick back, dig, while we do it to you in your eardrums
And me? I'm known as Lollipop Man, alias the Long-Haired Sucker
My motto is

Make my funk the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up
I want the bomb, I want the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up

W E F U N K, y'all, now this is what I want you all to do
If you got faults, defects or shortcomings
You know, like arthritis, rheumatism or migraines

Whatever part of your body it is
I want you to lay it on your radio, let the vibes flow through
Funk not only moves, it can remove, dig?
The desired effect is what you get
When you improve your Interplanetary Funksmanship

Sir Lollipop Man, Chocolate coated, freaky and and habit forming
Doin' it to you in 3-D, so groovy that I dig me
Once upon a time called now
Somebody say, 'Is there funk after death?'
I say, 'Is Seven Up?' Yeah, P. Funk

Make my funk the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up
I want the bomb, I want the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up

Make my funk the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up
I want the bomb, I want the P. Funk, I want my funk stepped on
Make my funk the P. Funk, before I take it home

Yeah, I dig, let me put my sunglasses on
That's the law around here
You got to wear your sunglasses
So you can feel cool

Gangster lean, y'all should dig my sun-rooftop
Well, alright, hey, I was diggin' on y'alls funk for awhile
Sounds like it got a three on it though, to me

Then I was down South and I heard some funk
With some main ingredients
Like Doobie Brothers, Blue Magic, David Bowie
It was cool, but can you imagine Doobiein' your funk?
Ho, W E F U N K, we funk

Make my funk the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up
I want the bomb, I want the P. Funk, I want my funk stepped on
Make my funk the P. Funk, before I take it home

Gettin' deep, once upon a time called, Right Now
Ain't it funky now, far around
Hey, doin' it to ya in the ear hole

Make my funk the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up
I want the bomb, I want the P. Funk, I want my funk stepped on
Make my funk the P. Funk, before I take it home, yeah

We're not leavin' y'all, I want you all to stay tuned for Star Child

Make my funk the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up
I want the bomb, I want the P. Funk, I want my funk stepped on
Make my funk the P. Funk, before I take it home

Don't stop, get down, talk
Blow your horn, P. you
Wants to get funked up
Well, alright

Make my funk the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up
I want the bomb, I want the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up

Make my funk the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up
I want the bomb, I want the P. Funk, I want my funk stepped on
Make my funk the P. Funk, before I take it home

Make my funk the P. Funk, I want my funk uncut
Make my funk the P. Funk, I wants to get funked up
I want the bomb, I want the P. Funk, I want my funk stepped on
Make my funk the P. Funk, before I take it home