Well, I smoked this thing one night out as a bet
And they told me it was kinda like a funky cigarette
And I can still remember my first draw
And all those funny things I saw

When I smoked my first funky cigarette
Well, I opened up my best friends biscuit tin
And there's no rich teas or custard creams
Just cigarettes and skins

And then he handed me a bag of green
The biggest bag I've ever seen
And I rolled my first funky cigarette
And since that day I seldom have declined

And I maintain this love affair
With these green herbs of mine
You can keep your pills and trips and lines
Expensive beers and fancy wines

'Cause I just want a funky cigarette
And nowadays it's harder to disguise
That wondering old sedated look
That glares across my eyes

Well, if you're like me I'm sure you'll find
That you don't really seem to mind
'Cause you just had a funky cigarette