I used to watch 'Highway Patrol'
Whittlin' with my knife
But the thought never struck me
I'd be black and white for life

I was raised on law and order
In a community of strife
Became a restless boarder
And I never took a wife

I went lookin' for Gaddafi
Aboard Air Force One
But I never did find him
And the CIA said, 'Son'

'You'll never be a hero
Your flyin' days are done
It's time for you to go home now
Stop sniffin' that smokin' gun'

I was travelin' with my family
In the Mideast late one night
In the hotel all was quiet
The kids were out like little lights

Then the street was filled with jeeps
There was an explosion to the right
They chanted, 'Death to America'
I was feelin' like a fight

So I ran downstairs
And out into the street
Someone kicked me in the belly
Someone else kissed my feet

I was Rambo in the disco
I was shootin' to the beat
When they burned me in effigy
My vacation was complete