At the KOC Local 3.13
There's a fat man standing
By the soda machine
And he knows, he knows, he knows
Life can be funny

He calls the hair salon
Says put Loretta on
'Cause the mall just called and
Said the last guy's gone
And I know, I know God knows
We need the money

He's a big red cherry
But it's hard to be merry
When the kids are all laughing
Saying, hey it's Jerry Garcia
Ain't he cute?
The man in the Santa suit

And all the moms in town
They bring their brats around
But they can't keep still or
Keep their root beer down
Now it's up, hey how 'bout that
It looks like a milkshake

And Jimmy's grown this year
Says mommy, quick come here
Santa's sweaty and he smells like beer
And he says, hey kid shut your mouth
You give me a headache

And he's jolly and hairy
But it's hard to be merry
When the guys at the bar
Say he looks like a fairy
But he's doing it just for the loot
The man in the Santa suit

At the KOC Local 3.13
There's a fat man standing
By the soda machine
And he knows, he knows, he knows
Life can be funny