Tonight will be the last night
Of my record breakingly successful run
In the lead role of the greatest play of the century

Unprecedentedly warm praise from critics
And public alike has met my portrayal
Of a man at his desk who gives a damn
And I'd like to thank all my friends and fans
For always pushing me to soldier on

So one last time
(For the cameras)
My greatest soliloquy

Oh, oh, oh, if I could only see
The clear blue sky from my office window
Oh, oh, then it would only take
A steel gray day and I'd take my bow

To whom it may concern
I'd like to nominate myself to receive and award
As a small symbol of recognition for my body of work

A lifetime of selling my body to pay the bills
But my heart and my mind are mine
Mine, you will not win this war, this is just a battle

Oh, oh, oh, well, I've surrendered you
My physical attendance here
But no, no, no, you will not take my soul

Lest we forget why I'm sitting here
My letter to the Human Resources Department says
You started a war so you'll get what you started

I'm only working here because I need the ***king money