The road to the top through cross guards and hard knocks
Copper penny times and endless city blocks
Thieves straight as they never been crooked rent-a-cops
Shooting craps in the back of vacant city lots

Free-range circus acts and worthless facts
Dancing in my solar soggy bowl of **** and smack
Fist-***king ***ots at the White on gym mats
Rats run the wire while I'm looking for a match

I go back and forth just like a cameo song
Honeys wanna love me but the line is too long
I make 'em take a number, wake 'em from their slumber
What you know about Mickey? He's a bad mother***ker

Truckers get my digits off the stalls of rest stops
I'm sick on the microphone like smallpox
Wild-eyed babies go crazy when I rock
Blind old ladies into diabetic shock

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, ******* hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, ******* hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown

I flow like an acrobat, go tell your manager
That Mickey Avalon ain't no mother***kin' amateur
I fly flicks with my **** at your camera
I rip the stick out my girl's Porsche Carrera

I brought your whole formula, just warmin' up
Storm the front line and then I find a spot for lunch
Toxic-proof punch when the loot comes
Rocket boosters with my boots on

Underneath the tundra reach out for the Thundercats
Holds no better than this brother act
I ripped the rubber mats out your lover's pad
And kicked your mother's *** right in front of your dad

Last night, a br*** pipe and a flashlight
Smashed my crown and left me down with a black eye
The bad guy, walking over landmines
Who can't die but still cried?

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, ******* hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, ******* hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown

Leave your gods and your politics back at home
'Cause I just wanna drink and be left alone
I gotta girl who likes to talk my ear off, see
So when I'm at the bar stay away from me

Don't ask for a smoke or to make some change
I don't care about your kid or your menstrual pains
You can call me rude but I like my solitude
And we don't need to chat while we're playing pool

So stay cool, mister, I wasn't lookin' at your sister
That snuggle toothed sea hag, lips all blistered
Now rack the balls while I'm in the stall
Pissin' out vodka and walkin' up the walls

I turn off the ringer when my lady calls
Don't point your finger unless you want a brawl
I chalk up my cue and sink the eight ball
Then reach into my pocket and light a Pall Mall

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, ******* hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown

'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, ******* hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown