It's off the hook home slice, like a lucky fish
All I wish is that you taste this like a Swedish dish
It's the L A R S H O double R I S
And I represent CV and yes, I must confess

I'm back 2003 and the snare drum pumps
Back up, Kriss Kross, it's my turn to Jump
See I'm a Libra and I'm balanced
Rocking it like Ritchie Valens

And I'm up to this fresh session
Yes, I'm up to this fresh challenge
And I'm thinking and I'm writing
And I'm rapping and I'll fighting

All the layers of green apathy
Clogging up the zone
Because I'll ****yze your world
I'll ****yze your head
I'll readjust your paradigm with this microphone

I was chilling in my '88 south on 101
With the woofer in the back
Bumping PE number one
Freestyling in a genre

I didn't create props to Melle Mel, Chuck D
And all eight hundred thousand MC's
On whose shoulders I stand
I'm just a white kid with a Plastic Jamie in his hand

See this MC here spends his life feeling fine
But doesn't often get off in a straight line
Fine, time will tell where he's headed
It's up to chance like Gretel's path is breaded

You're criticism? I'm above it! You're BS?
Let's rubber glove it
Take your heroin and shove it
Life you've got to love it

So get this, steal this, deal this, peel this away
I made this song out of my brain neurons and clay
It helped my brain chill for a week and a day
Until one day it stopped working like the city of Pompeii

But it's okay, hey, because I roll it home
Knick knack paddy whack, my sonic range is grown
Profound like Antoine De Saint Exuperey
When I rock the chorus of this song I say

Lars Horris, hey that's me
Part Swedish, part Australian, full fun boy G
Lars Horris, hey that's me
I scored 1430 on my SAT's

Lars Horris, hey that's me
I'll rock the CoHo like 1, 2, 3
Lars Horris, hey that's me
I drop English and math and biology

I piss Catholics off with my comic in the Daily
'Why's it called '27th Street'?', Man, don't front me
Jorge Cham might do PhD
But can he ever try to rock the mike like me?

And I'm weird like Al, don't attend Cal
DJ's my buddy, who's Mike?
Josh plays b*** and I take wedding vows
To my hip hop rhymes that I'm busting now

And I satisfy women like GER's
I advocate the destruction of SUV cars
I think Israel and Palestine should get along
I sampled Nine Inch Nails for this song

And I'm so postmodern, I don't even exist
Did you hear that P. Diddy?
You just got dissed
It's the twenty first century, MC's please

You're killing hip hop when you sample the Bee Gees
Most MC's today rap about five things
Narcotics, cars, girls, clothes and the bling bling
Delusions of grandeur in full swing
Fascist self focus and diamond rings

But if Martin Luther King were alive today
How would he weigh the decay displayed?
****genized iden***ies, ourselves betrayed
There's more to rap than just getting paid

And there's more to life than MTV and Reese's Pieces
And when I sit in silence, my love for life increases
It feels great to pull the plug on the family TV
And make my own niche in society

And while I freak this beat, you're doing spoken word
Trying to get your naked voice heard
If I didn't know ProTools, I'd be like you
And I could just do spoken word if I wanted to

Lars Horris, hey that's me
You might see me on the street bumping Run DMC
Lars Horris, hey that's me
After my BA I'll get my PhD

Lars Horris, hey that's me
Metaphysically fly like John Donne's, The Flea
Lars Horris, hey that's me
Rewriting Bronte like Wide Sarg***o Sea