If you are what you say you are, a superstar
Then have no fear, the camera's here
And the microphones and they wanna know
Oh, oh, oh

If you are what you say you are, a superstar
Then have no fear, the crowd is here
And the lights are on and they want a show
Oh, oh, oh, yeah

Yeah, uh, a fresh cool young Lu
Trying to catch this microphone, check 2, 1, 2
Want to believe my own hype but it's too untrue
The world brought me to my knees
What have you brung you?

Did you improve on the design? Did you do something new?
Well, your name ain't on the guest list, who brung you?
You, the more famous person you come through
And the sexy lady next to you, you come too

And then the hit men standing outside of Heaven
Waiting for God to come and get me, I'm too uncouth
Unschooled to the rules and to gum shoe
Too much of a newcomer and too uncool

Like Shadow and Lavelle, I battle with it well
Though I need a holiday like lady who sung blue
Go back whatever you did, you undo
Heavy is Heaven, the devil on me two times two

If you are what you say you are, a superstar
Then have no fear, the camera's here
And the microphones and they wanna know
Oh, oh, oh, yeah

And you better wear your shades
The spotlights here can burn holes through the stage
Down through the basement, past the Indian graves
Where the dinosaurs laid
And out through China nearly misses airliners

Magnify times five this is pointed at the rhyme
I ricochets off the moon and sets the forest ablaze
Now that's important to say, 'cause even with all of that
Most of us don't want it to fade

We wanted to braid, meaning we wanted to grow
Meaning we wanted to stay like the governor called
And they told him to wait, unstrap him from the chair
And put him back in his cage

The audience ain't fazed
They ain't gone clap and they ain't gone praise
They want everything back that they paid
'Cause they been waiting since ten to see the lights get dim

If you are what you say you are, a superstar
Then have no fear the crowd is here
And the lights are on and they want a show
Oh, oh, oh, yeah

So chauffeur, chauffeur come and take me away
'Cause I been standing in this line for like five whole days
Me and security ain't getting along
And when I got to the front they told me all of the tickets were gone

So just take me home where the mood is mellow
And the roses are thrown, M&M's are yellow
And the light bulbs around my mirror don't flicker
Everybody gets a nice autograph picture

One for you and one for your sister
Who had to work tonight but is an avid listener
Every song's a favorite song and mics don't feedback
All the reviewers say you need to go and see that

And everybody claps 'cause everybody is pleased
And then they all take the stage and start performing for me
Like ha, ha, haha, ha
Ha, ha, haha, ha, ha

If you are what you say you are a superstar
Then have no fear, the camera's here
And the microphones and they wanna know
Oh, oh, oh

If you are what you say you are a superstar
Then have no fear the crowd is here
And the lights are on and they want a show
Oh, oh, oh, yeah

If you are what you say you are
Then have no fear