At the age of 33 and a third, the time that Christ spent on earth
I decided to cut all ties with showbiz
As the awards piled up in the bath, well, I started to laugh
At all those who died in the name of light entertainment

Camp Christ, Kitsch Christ, some escapologist Christ fella
There's an unfunny Christ comedian tied up in my cellar
Fly tipping Christ in a lay-by, all try to catch my attention

At the age of 33 and a third, the time that Christ spent on earth
I decided to establish a manifesto until we destroy we'll only have ruins
No more masterpieces, no more pseudonyms, speak in tongues
Change my identity, become invisible

I deal in absolutes, no second chances
I'm the Holy Grail of poisoned stanzas
Do I have to end it all like Billy Mackenzie
To get out of the contract?

Arse-licking Christ, false Christ, little self-hatred Christ
Sex Christ, death, dumb and blind Christ
Hanging in a garden shed, Christ
Anorexic Christ, idiot Christ, all try to catch my attention

At the age of 33 and a third
The time that Christ spent on earth
I decided to cut all ties with showbiz