Why must every generation think their folks are square
And no matter where their heads are they know moms ain't there
Cause I swore when I was small that I'd remember when
I knew what's wrong with them that I was smaller then

Determined to remember all the cardinal rules
Like sun showers are legal grounds for cutting school
I know I have forgotten maybe one or two
And I hope that I recall them all before the baby's due
And I know he'll have a question or two

Like 'hey Pop, can I go ride my zoom
It goes two hundred miles an hour suspended by balloons
And can I put a droplet of this new stuff on my tongue
And imagine frothing dragons while you sit and wreck your lungs'
And I must be permissive, understanding of the younger generation

Then I'll know that all I've learned my kid assumes
And all my deepest worries must be his cartoons
And still I'll try to them him all the things I've done
Related to what he can do when he becomes a man
And still he'll stick his fingers in the fan

And 'Hey, Pop, my girlfriend's only three
She's got her own videophone and she's taking L.S.D
And now that we're best friends she wants to give a bit to me
But what's the matter Daddy, how come you're turning green?
Can it be that you can't live up to your dream?'