Guys, Michael Bolton is here
Oh great, send him in
Hey guys, hey, hi, thanks for coming
Sorry I'm late, I just got caught up watching

The Pirates of the Caribbean marathon
Have you seen those things?
Oh yeah, those, those are great
Well, I checked out the track and I loved it

And I wrote you this big ***y hook
I think you're gonna really dig
Oh wow, that's great, awesome, should we just lay it down?
Boys, let's get to it

Here we go, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton
The night starts now
Together on the track, the boys are back
The night starts now

The night starts now, baby, roll with us
Chickens snappin' at the neck when we rollin' up
Blow through the doors, ain't no holdin' up
Black card at the bar like I gives a ***k

Ladies shifty-eyed when we walk into the set
***k the fellas lookin' jealous, play the back and get wet
Three pound in my waist, like shank in my sock
You either get cut, get stuffed or get shot

This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow
Pirate so brave on the seven seas
A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga
Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze

Yeah, that was kinda weird but we're back in the club
Buyin' up the bar so the groupies show us love
Mother***king ice man, I'm the top gunner
Heater on blast, I'm the number one stunner

Watch it, girl 'cause I ain't your mister nice guy
More like 'The meet ya, take you home and ***k you twice guy'
All dressed up with nowhere to run
I know I make you feel crazy with a poem

From the day he was born he yearned for adventure
Oh Captain Jack, giving them worth more
He's the pauper of the surf, the jester of Tortuga
But in Davy Jones' locker what lies in store?

Put your hands in the air and say hell yeah, c'mon
Captain Jack, Johnny Depp
From the front to the back saying we count stacks, c'mon
Davy Jones, Giant squid
Michael Bolton, we're really gonna need you to focus up
Roger that, let me try it with another film

Life is a box of chocolates
And my name is Forrest Gump
Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed
I give Jenny all my love

Okay, then I'm a legal aid
Erin Brockovich is my name
Then you can call me Scarface
Snortin' mountains of cocaine

You ****roaches wanna play rough?
Okay, I'm reloaded, ha ha

This is the tale of Tony Montana, Cubano flame with the Miami nuts
Got a base-head wife, her womb is polluted
This whole town's a *****, just waiting to get ***ked
Just waiting to get ***ked

Okay, it turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile
You complete me
Yeah, yeah, okay