Sunshine stings my eyes and I’m missing you
And it cuts like, it cuts like knives
This is not getting any easier, irrelevant stuff
I should but I don’t think I will change the world

(My name is Master Samwise Gangee )
(And that’s fine honestly)
On a more in depth inspection
Jon from Captain Everything is hairier than me

Chas this is sober
Turn this toss over
Or at least skip to the bit
Where Dr. Spock tries
Talking to the whales in his Y fronts

And you call me geek, you ***king Trekkie fan
And wannabe Gandalf
I’m just a nerd obsessed with Ernie Ball
At least it’s bloomin’ real

Your mum’s got big hands and shops at Aldi
(Your mum’s got big hands and shops at Aldi)
Your mum’s got big hands and shops at Aldi
(Your mum’s got big hands and shops at Aldi)

Your mum’s got big hands and shops at Aldi
(Your mum’s got big hands and shops at Aldi)
Your mum’s got big hands and shops at Aldi
Your mum’s got big hands and shops at

Well, ready, steady, look at this **** lyrical action
I’m dropping these babies like
(Michael Jackson)

I didn’t know what to say
When I saw his face melt on mushrooms that day
Cheese and wine or cider and chips
Boneless variations or three sixty flips

We specialize and cater
Whatever your persuasion
Seven naked men for every occasion

I’m Captain of Everything inside my head
With five knuckles clenched my friend
You’re better off dead

I’m stronger in this weakness
Much stronger than before
It’s our genetics, our blood, our understanding
Of an unspoken ethic and an unspoken law

(Data’s)
Leonard Nimoy
(Double)
Dianna Troi

(Chin)
Leonard Nimoy
Seven of Nine

(Data’s)
Leonard Nimoy
(Double)
Dianna Troi

(Chin)
Leonard Nimoy
Seven of Nine

Tweaked ankles and a tweaked music industry
Rec exec steps up
(And I’ll gl*** him with a cup of tea)

In that Lightyear hooded top you look particularly dapper
We’ve bombed Ibiza, now we’ll bomb Ayia Napa
We’ll bomb George Bush while he’s sitting on the crapper

Resident President Evil
There’s zombies in the White House
Playing with their Scalextric
And their clockwork Evel Knievel

I’m Captain of Everything inside my head
With five knuckles clenched my friend
You’re better off dead

I’m stronger in this weakness
Much stronger than before
It’s our genetics, our blood, our understanding
Of an unspoken ethic and an unspoken law