She was born on a Monday night
In my head, for my eyes
In a theorem of Pythagoras
Oh, oh, ho

Fall asleep on the train
Mr. J, he rots your brain
You're not fun lest you pick up the pace
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Another cold night down on the Mare
Kissin' boys and pretending to care
Oh, it's the faculty of fears
It's the faculty of fears

And if your heart's screaming, 'Take me home'
Then hail a cab and please turn off your phone
Oh, it's the faculty of fears
It's the faculty of fears

Drop your scarf in the mud
Slacker Jack and coffee mugs
Is your dorm room a romantic place?
Oh, tell me, is it?

All the hits and your favorite songs
Through your ears and down your sarong
If he's evil then why does he kiss?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Another cold night down on the Mare
Kissin' boys and pretending to care
Oh, it's the faculty of fears
It's the faculty of fears

And if your heart's screaming, 'Take me home'
Then hail a cab and please turn off your phone
Oh, it's the faculty of fears
It's the faculty of fears

Don't you feel better staying on your own?
Sometimes it's better in your slutty crone
Listen to Lucia, a favored friend
Pamela, sing for me

Another cold night down on the Mare
Kissin' boys and pretending to care
Oh, it's the faculty of fear
It's the faculty of fears

And if your heart's screaming, 'Take me home'
Then hail a cab and turn off your phone
Oh, it's the faculty of fears
It's the faculty of fears
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh