In 1580 we sailed our little ship
Around the coast of Africa, down the Gaza strip
We took some salty bacon and a hammock for a bed
Then we mixed it with the Spaniards in the middle of the Med

Well, we hired our funds, saw the pretty girls a comin'
There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago
We hired some more and then we started runnin'
All down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

Well, Francis Drake said if you really want a fight
The best thing is to catch them in the middle of the night
We hoisted anchor and powdered up the gun
Then we sailed around in circles and just waited for the fun

Well, we hired our funds, saw the pretty girls a-comin'
There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago
We hired some more and then we started runnin'
All down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

Well, cannon balls flew and the ship began to sink
The water started risin', so we really had to think
And then by chance stood a man as black as coal
So we grabbed him by the trousers and we plugged him in the hole

Well, we hired our funds, saw the pretty girls a-comin'
There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago
We hired some more and then we started runnin'
All down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

Well, we fired from the side port and we fired from the back
And then we fired from the gallery and through every little crack
We fired so much that the cook started cooking
Didn't have to worry so we flew the Union Jack

Well, we hired our funds, saw the pretty girls a comin'
There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago
We hired some more and then we started runnin'
All down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico