Lard, Lard

Lard, you can see it
In the clouds up in the sky
Lard, floats by in clusters
In our water supply

Lard, it's all of us, man
In our pores and in our hair
Lard's what we conceal
With these corny clothes we wear

Lard is all
Lard is divine
Lard is in control
Lard whips and chains our soul

Lard, we carry credit cards
Lard, we live in fear of art
Lard is the OM
Lard is revolution

Lard is the tapeworm
In the bottle of cheap tequila
That comes alive at night
And sneaks up and bites your ******
Lard, Lard

Nowadays, most of us need someone
To run our personal life
Someone to see that the plants are watered
Someone to make sure the place is clean
Someone to make sure dinner is waiting
Someone to call for theater tickets
Someone to make up those cheap excuses

What we need is Lard
Lard, the answer, the dancer
The ointment, Lard, the dream
Absorb it, inflame it, respect it, ****** it
Lard, Lard

The country right now just wants to be soothed
And told it doesn't have to pay or sacrifice or learn
No one is over the hill
When the mountain comes to Mohammad

Lard, Lard, Lard
We love to eat, we love to pray
Mold over mind, hooray

The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard

Every time I take a crap
It's a cosmic experience
Religion and chemicals
Are the key to the future

Next time we have ***
Just pretend I'm Ed Meese
The weasels have it down, man
It's a whole new age

Lard, Lard

Which would you prefer
A computer or a gun
The sharks out lived the dinosaurs
You know

The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard

Pity the poor trainer
In the stable when the race horse farts
Poison oak really is
The aphrodisiac of the Gods

When people are asleep
We must all become alarm clocks
Hey, man
Life is my college

It's Dental Floss of the mind
Who will babysit the babysitters

Ever hear about that guy in New York
Whose **** fell off in the bath after he shot it full of coke
It's OK to run out of butter in Zambia
Just smear squashed caterpillars on your toast

Waiter, there's a terrorist in my soup
Which came first? Max Headroom or Gerald Ford
Are you a man or are you a mouse
If you love your fun, die for it, die for it

The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard

The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard

Avoid everything, avoid everything
Avoid everything, avoid everything
Everything, everything
Everything, everything
Everything, everything
Everything, everything

The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard
The Power of Lard