I was runnin' through the summer rain
Tryin' to catch the evenin' train
An' kill that old familiar pain
Weavin' through my tangled brain
But when I tipped my bottle back
I smacked into a cop I didn't see

That policeman said, 'Mister Cool
If you ain't drunk, then you're a fool'
I said, 'If that's against the law
Then tell me why I never saw
A man locked in that jail of yours
Who wasn't just as low down poor as me?”

Well, that was when someone turned out the lights
An' I wound up in jail to spend the night
An' dream of all the wine an' lonely girls
In this best of all possible worlds

Well, I woke up next mornin'
Feelin' like my head was gone
An' like my thick old tongue was lickin'
Something sick an' wrong
An' I told that man I'd sell my soul
For somethin' wet an' cold as that old cell

That kindly jailer grinned at me
All eaten up with sympathy
Then poured he self another beer
An' came an' whispered in my ear
'If booze was just a dime a bottle, boy
You couldn't even buy the smell'

I said, 'I knew there was somethin' I liked about this town
But it takes more than that to bring me down, down, down
'Cause there's still a lot of wine an' lonely girls
In this best of all possible worlds”

Well, they finally came an' told me
They was a gonna set me free
An' I'd be leavin' town
If I knew what was good for me
I said, 'It's nice to learn
that everybody's so concerned about my health'

I said, 'I won't be leavin' no more
Quicker than I can
'Cause I've enjoyed about as much
Of this as I can stand
An' I don't need this town of yours
More than I never needed nothin' else'

'Cause there's still a lot of drinks that I ain't drunk
An' lots of pretty thoughts that I ain't thunk
An' Lord, there's still so many lonely girls
In this best of all possible worlds