Don't I know you? Do you? Well, I'm Laurie Kessler
Haven't we met before? Have we? Maybe not, back stage

See girl, after the show I'm not to be idolized
Overwhelmed by a new obsessed fan
No, I don't wanna answer your questions
Are you some kind of journalist, followin' me around?

Come on in the bathroom
Now you wanna see how Keith acts at home
Call your girlfriends, now you wanna see the way I P I S S
Beggin' me to get a magic marker to sign my name on your back

You're very young and giggly with pre-washed Levi's on
You don't know how to act, let's party, how about it?
I don't wanna party, drink Bacardi, what you think I look like?
The purple dragon, Barney?

Back stage, you're excited, back stage p***es
You're excited, girls lookin' all around
Back stage, you're excited, back stage p***es
You're excited, stop lookin' all around
Back stage, you're excited

I'm totally attracted to you but you turn me off as a fan
Approachin' me back stage with a guy that's not your friend
Lyin' to get a laminate, is that your man?
Some weird guy starin' at me like Peter Pan

There's no time to talk about how I got started in rap
I'm goin' straight home, you don't know, I'ma leave you alone
Why should I waste my time, get no sleep?
I just got off stage, you're still complainin'

You shoulda stayed on stage longer at the New Orleans Super Dome
What you want from me? You took my picture
You got my autograph, I'm not tryin' to crack any more Coronas
I hate the smell of beadies and you have a bunch of dinky friends
And a adolescent staff, you are immature

Back stage, you're excited, back stage p***es
You're excited, girls lookin' all around
Back stage, you're excited

Laugh at yourself, put your whole world on the shelf
Do that stupid stuff with weird Al Yankovich
Go try to figure out somebody else, first of all
You're livin' through my CD, second, you don't know me

Base your life on fan magazines, I go shoppin' everyday
When I'm in a small borin' city, you don't see me
If I told you I had eighteen hands, you're so tuned
And tweaked out, your *** would believe me

Back stage p***es, you're excited
Girls lookin' all around, back stage, you're excited
Back stage p***es, you're excited
Girls lookin' all around, back stage, you're excited