We sit, we think, we drink
We fall upstairs and dress
Confess the mess our lives are in depressed
We rest, we jest, we love ourselves to death
But we reek of garlic breath
And to the bathroom next we rush

We flush, we brush, we splash on smells
We squeeze, we tease
Oh, please let me take you now but no
Suppose she knows we really ought to go
She's picking up the phone
Just you wait till we get home

See we're sneaking home
You've got your ripped jeans on
You leave doc bootprints on the lawn
Swearing hard is this girl I used to know
Uncouth words, I miss the girl that I fell for

We arrive, the wives
Want Clive to show us to our seats
He bleats, we speak of things we'd like to eat
We cheat, repeat the order of last week
He shrugs in mock defeat
And pounces off to fetch the wine

We dine, goes fine, the girls are plied drink
They *****, we wink
And true to form they start to flirt
Their skirts are hitched way beyond the decent height
Clive he smiles with sheer delight
How he'd love to take you home

See we're sneaking home
You've got your ripped jeans on
You leave doc bootprints on the lawn
Swearing hard is this girl I used to know
Uncouth words, I miss the girl that I fell for

I hope I'm wrong
It may be drink that woke this ***** inside

Alone she has a rattling in store