I asked her what she wanted this year for our anniversary
She thought about it long and hard and then she said to me
'I’d really like a divorce, think I've finally had enough'
I said, 'Honey, I wasn't planning on spending quite that much'

Well, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go
I just can't seem to say goodbye to half of everything I own
Well, I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't
Ya, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go

She handed me some papers that she wanted me to sign
She pulled out a pen and pointed at that dotted line
It's not the thought of losing her that really breaks my heart
You see I'm in love with all my stuff and that's the hardest part

Well, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go
I just can't seem to say goodbye to half of everything I own
Well, I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't
Well, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go

I started thinking about it, adding it up
The house, the boat, the car, the truck
When I see my attorney gonna kick his butt
For talking me out of that damn prenup

Well, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go
I just can't seem to say goodbye to half of everything I own
Well, I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't
Well, it's cheaper to keep her than it is to let her go
Ain’t gonna let her go