{Go back, go back
Go back to ur dorm, you got your roommate
That never works out, that never works out
They don't want it to work out
They want it like it is
A real world episode in your dorm room}

{Like I, uh, like I don't understand
Like they have the compatibility tests
You fill out at the beginning of the year
Thats such a joke with that test you fill out
At the beginning of the year
It's like, 'I like Rock and Roll'
I like staying up late}

{And I love the ladies,oh yeah oh
Okay we got the perfect room mate for you
He's an opera major, he's an arptileptic
An' he's gay, so go fight each other
We got four camera angles
That'll be perfect
Welcome to college go screw yourself}

{Yeah, thats what we say here, go ahead
Then u think yourself, okay I got it beat
I got it beat my buddy from high school's comin' up
He's gonna be my room mate
Its gonna be awesome
No, that is never awesome
It doesn't work out
No it doesn't}

{Hate to tell ya, u will fight each other
You will just get, you will get, I'll tell ya
Why one of is 'cuz they have too much dirt on you
Your friend from home has too much dirt on you}

{They'll kill you they'll crush you in an argument for no reason
Like you just say hey man, uh
These dishes have been in the sink for like 2 weeks
Man, and their your dishes, are you gonna clean them or what?
Yeah remember when you had crabs in 6 grade?}