There was a lady in a window
In the room across the way
From the hotel I was staying in
While on my holiday

I couldn't help but see everything
'Cause I was peeping I confess
Still after dinner every night
She had the strangest guest

She'd retire to her favorite chair
And sit there with a dog
Fill the crystal gl***es
While the fire danced on the log

Well I watched them drink their bubbly brew
Until the fire grew dim
Then I stuck my head out the window
And said, 'Why not me instead of him?'

Oh your bulldog drinks champagne
And I ain't one to complain
What a perfect waste of wine it seems to be
So honey, tell ol' Rover that the big dog's coming over
'Cause any woman that would get a bulldog drunk
Would have to be good to me

Fourteen days and fourteen nights
Not one word did I hear
Her with her silk and champagne
Over to me in my shorts with a beer

She just left the curtains wide
And I knew she knew I could see
Her and the pug nosed mutt
Guzzling wine and teasing me

Oh your bulldog drinks champagne
And I ain't one to complain
What a perfect waste of wine it seems to be
So honey, tell ol' Rover that the big dog's coming over
'Cause any woman that would get a bulldog drunk
Would have to be good to me

So I made a bolder move
I went over and rang her bell
I heard growling from inside
And I got scared as hell

Then the bulldog staggered out the door
And he said, 'How do you do?'
But the lady bit me on the leg
And I said, 'Rouf, I love you too'

Oh your bulldog drinks champagne
And I ain't one to complain
What a perfect waste of wine it seems to be
So honey, tell ol' Rover that the big dog's coming over