Ask any young man in this town who is over thirteen
To tell you about the things and places he's seen
If he tells you somethin' 'bout women you haven't known
You can attribute his knowledge of anatomy to widow Jones

Well, Jones-y was a gogo girl
A little while before she married Sam
He fell into the river, Jones-y said
'That's water over the dam'

You say we oughta leave these matters
To the good digression of the law
But when you have a shape like widow Jones
You have a lotta friends at City Hall

Well, I don't bring her up because I think we should put her down
I just wanna shed some light on the truth in this town

These boys've learned things
They couldn't've learned in our schools
And their parents can relax in knowin'
That they're not all out in shootin' pool

Yeah, Jones-y was a gogo girl
A little while before she married Sam
He fell into the river, Jones-y said
'That's water over the dam'

You say we oughta leave these matters
To the good digression of the law
But when you have a shape like widow Jones
You have a lotta friends at City Hall
Yeah, the widow's got a lot friends at City Hall