1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, it's the J-Zone Commandments
I J-Zone AKA Captain Backslap on behalf of Old Man Entertainment
Got to foreshadow y'all to what's goin' on '
'Cause we got rules and commandments for y'all
To follow before you roll with us on this album
So pay attention, okay?

Audience shut the ***k up, don't make a sound
Like Eddie Murphy I got rules and **** when I throw down
All I need is about two minutes to run down the Commandments
Before we get it poppin', so we gotta understand it

Thou shalt not **** block at shows
Give me a pound and step if I'm creepin' with hoes
And thou shalt not ask Zone his race
What's the matter when your broad gave Zone a taste, mwah

Thou shalt not call my house
When there's a basketball game on TV
You don't know, check the TV Guide
'Cause if you make me miss Kobe drop 50, you gon' see me

And thou shalt not ask Zone to perform
If there's less than three zeroes in the show fee
And thou shalt not e-mail the Zone
Saying put me on, ***got, you don't know me

Ladies, thou shalt not react
When I use the word ***** 'cause if you not, relax
The more you get upset, the more that must mean the shoe fits
So if you got mad then, yeah, I was talking 'bout you, *****

Thou shalt not bring food in my car
And when you ride, thou shalt not ride for free
So up the money on the mobile or hitch a ride
'Cause *****, riding dolo is just fine with me

Fat girls, thou shalt not wear midriffs
And while you at it, kill the thong thoughts, chicken and biscuits
Thou shalt vanish if you got too many kids move in?
Is you crazy, *****, I look like Mike Brady?

Thou shalt floss and stunt
Even if you drive a hooptie, sport the junk
And when you rollin' up the strip and a sucker run his lip
Slam the clutch, put it in five and off the chump

And thou shalt use caution getting head while driving
Chicks that want you to trick, thou shalt nickel and dime them
Thou shalt be cheap so you can ball like me
Thou can't be both ***** whooped and rich

Thou shalt not act hard on the Internet
Living in South Dakota where nobody can get you at
And thou shalt buy this album at the store and ****
'Cause all y'all listening know damn well y'all downloaded this