Hi J-Zone, my name is Lisa Mitchell from ***k-Off Magazine
And I'd like to do this interview with you
Oh really
You released two albums for critical acclaim and acquired a fanbase
But a lot of people still never heard of you

Tell us who J-Zone is
Yeah
Where you're from
Ah
Your goals
Yo

Lifestyle
Ah-ha
The people need informing
Okay
Who are you?
Alright

How did I start? Dumb question
Where am I from? None of your business
You're bluffin', what the ***k is this?
But as for my goal, I want a Caddy, feel me?
And three dime chicks callin' me daddy dearly

(Describe yourself)
Chicks call me a cheapskate
I mean I took her on a date, she thinkin, me gonna eat steak
I pick up the check if they don't ask too much
But if that menu looks French we goin' Dutch

Some chicks would define me as a ***hole
'Cause the only do' I show will get 'em boardwalks, so past go
(What about beats?)
I don't make synthesizer beats, blow me
Only Casio I own is my imitation Roley

Rap for free, what the ***k?
(Now what we have here is a failure to communicate)
You ain't gettin' promos if you ain't a DJ
Hit Jumpers for beats and get my clothes off of E-Bay

Native New Yorker, hate the Knicks and the Giants both
[Incomprehensible] for President's the only way I try and vote
(Do you freestyle?)
Yup, but you can't hear it till you pay me

Up the dough, there you go, that's the spirit
Me do your beats for free 'cause you the best?
You'll have the hottest acapellas on the planet
(I see, so you don't do beats for free?)
I gotta get my platinum teeth somehow, right?

Speaking of money, can you survive off music?
Do you have a day job?
Are you really a Old Maid Billionaire?
Or is it all an act?

What about your love life?
Is there a Ms. J-Zone?
What's up with Lucy Liu?
The people need to know

Do I have a day job? Yes, to rest and dress
Buy gasoline and lean, marinate and look great
Sleep and count sheep, yo, it's a tough nine to four to have
I left the last hour for them kids that want my autograph

(What'd you do if you weren't making music?)
I'd play for the Jets, ***k it, athletes rap
Shaquille O'Neal can plug a mic and spit a rap off?
I could go hut, hike and run a half back toss

(What about your crew?)
Shid, Huggy Bear, Jz
**** Stallion and my homie Contakt, there it is
Girls think I'm stingy, nah, I ain't believin that
What we ain't bonin? *****, gimme my CD back

'Cause of this behavior now they don't like me
Zone, I don't trick, that's why I'm bagged up nightly
But as for gettin' married, only if it's Lucy Liu
Hey Lucy, if you're listenin', baby, I propose

But if she has a look-alike and I'm gettin' paid right
I don't know, ***k it, maybe, I suppose
But back to Lucy Liu, Payback changed my life
And I ain't quittin' till that hottie been named my wife
But bein' that Lucy ain't here you my flavor
This interview is done hon, what you doin' later?

Yo come here, come here
Yo stop, stop it
Yo, get off me, come on, stop
Come here baby, damn, you got a banger on you
Stop, yo, quit ***kin' with me
You got a backyard on you
Stop
Come here
J-Zone, stop
Lift your shirt up
Stop it