Noel Coward was a charmer
As a writer he was Brahma
Velvet, jackets and pajamas
Had a gay divorce and other dramas

There ain't half been some clever *******s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards

Van Gogh did some eyeball pleasers
He must have been a pencil squeezer
He didn't do the Mona Lisa
That was an Italian geezer

There ain't half been some clever *******s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards

Einstein can't be cl***ed as witless
He claimed atoms were the littlest
When you did a bit of splitting-em-ness
Frighten everybody ****less

There ain't half been some clever *******s
Probably got help from their mum
(Who had help from her mum)

There ain't half been some clever *******s
Now that we've had some
Let's hope that there's lots more to come

There ain't half been some clever *******s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards

Okey-dokey
Oh, Segovia
Da-laa la-laa da-daa da-lee
De dump di dump de dump-dump-diddle li-lee

There ain't half been some clever *******s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever *******s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)

There ain't half been some clever *******s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever *******s