There's a doctor livin' in your town
There's a lawyer and an Indian, too
Neither doctor, lawyer nor Indian chief
Could love you any more than I do

There's a barrel of fish in the ocean
And a lot of little birds in the blue
And neither fish nor fowl says the wise old owl
Could love you any more than I do

No, no, no it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
I'm gonna warn all the dead-eyed ****s
That you're the chick with the slickest tricks
And every tick of my ticker ticks for you, follow through

Tell the doc to stick to his practice
Tell the lawyer to settle his case
Send the Indian chief and his tommy-hawk
Back to little rain in the face

'Cause you know, know it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do

No, no, no it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
Confidentially, I confess send a note to the local press
I'll be changin' my home address for you, follow through, babe

No, no, no it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
I'm gonna send a hot communeek
To all the bucks down the Cripple Creek
That every dimple on your dimpled cheek is mine, so to speak

Tell the doc to stick to his practice
Tell the lawyer to settle his case
Send the Indian chief and his tommy-hawk
Back to little rain in the face

'Cause you know, know it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do, like I do
No, nobody else could love you like I do, like I do