Me and Yates, an army buddy o'mine
Were doin' three years in Germany at the time
We came upon these Frauleins in the bar
Yates said, 'Darf isch zee be-gleit-en', they said, 'Ya'
(And darf isch zee be-gleit-en means can we sit with you all)

Oh, we must have drunk ten quarts of German beer
My conscience and my sinuses were clear
I asked that Fraulein if she was a spy
She said, 'Nein but do bis ain bissel high'
(A condition not uncommon to the American soldier)

Well, later on I went to be excused
When I returned I was a bit confused
Yates and his Fraulein had hit the air
Another guy was sittin' in my chair
(A young soldier whom we shall get to know better)

I said, 'Excuse me Mister, that's my seat
I'd like to have it back, Sir, if you please
That girl's a nurse and I've been awful sick'
The man looked up at me and said, 'Mox-nix'
(Which means that he was not overly concerned with my health)

Next thing I knew he had a switchblade knife
Lord I didn't know that Fraulein was his wife
I took off through that Gasthaus like a fool
Behind me I heard the crashing stools
(As the police would say he was in hot pursuit)

Well, the waitress yelled there's MPs on the way
That's one more reason I didn't want to stay
As I went out the window somethin' went switch
And I giggled all the way home knowin' he missed
(At the time it seemed like a laughing matter)

But next morning my coat was lyin' there on the bunk
And when I saw that coat it made me jump
That man had cut my coat right down the back
A little bit more and they'd been playin' me taps
(And knowin' the sad nature of that song I would decline it)

Well, later on I heard that guy got stabbed
They sent him home and didn't that make me glad
On love and marriage I want to say one thing
Oh lady, if you're married wear that ring
(And the army has a new policy if you can't move it, paint it)
(If it has a switchblade knife salute it)
(Not necessarily an incident one would want to write Mother about)
(Germany being full of good soldiers good people)