If I recall correctly it was the middle of spring
Walkin' with my boys, contemplating what summer will bring
We started talkin' about girls and it was the funniest thing
As I started remembering some of my funnier flings

See there was Ashley
She caught my eye the very second that she p***ed me
I kissed her once then she started to har*** me
She called all night long, I had to buy a brand new phone

And let me see, there was Melanie
To have a mouth like that should be a felony
Wouldn't believe half the **** that she was tellin' me
I mean dirty vocab, she used to talk like she was grown

And after that was Tiffany the one with the cute cousin
Are you kiddin' me?
She had a man but that didn't mean **** to me
He tried to catch us all the time but I was just too goddamn smooth

And I can't forget to mention Carrie
But that situation quickly got scary
'Cause after 2 days she's like let's get married
Can you believe that ****? I had to pack my bags and move

They say I gotta change my evil ways
And I'm workin' hard at it every day
But no matter what I do I seem to make
The same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

If love is just a game that people play
And practice makes perfect is what they say
But no matter what I do I seem to make
The same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

I'll always remember Monica, the Jewish chick
She'd always give me gifts for Chanukah
To meet her folks she'd try and make me rock a yhomica
But she looked so damn good she almost made my *** convert

And after that there was Lisa
You know she had a twin sister, Teresa
I bumped into them at Cam's gettin' pizza
The greatest night of my life, Schlep's the rock that kill two birds

And there was Erica
She had the stankest breath in North America
I tried to slip her tic tacs but they were scared of her
And when we made out, I always had to plug my nose

And I suppose you know your sister
Chill, I swear my hand to God I only kissed her
I gotta foot ****** but she gotta lotta blisters
I mean hammer-time feet, you think she had dead bugs for toes

They say I gotta change my evil ways
And I'm workin' hard at it every day
But no matter what I do I seem to make
The same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

If love is just a game that people play
And practice makes perfect is what they say
But no matter what I do I seem to make
The same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

Yo Matt, remember Catherine? She talked so much
I used to make her bring me aspirin, blah, blah, blah, blah
I'm doin' fine thanks for askin', I even tried to make a muzzle
But her mouth would just not quit

And oh ****, remember Shauna? I hate to bring her up again
I didn't want her, that girl I talked about
In 'That girl's a dog' song, yeah the poster girl from Paxil
Almost made me lose my grip

And oh ****, then there was Krystal, the meth head
She used to sniff like a fist full
One time she chased me down through street with a pistol
She tried to say I took her stash, she bugged out and tried to kill my ***

And at last we got Kimmy, she went abroad
Came back and broke up with me
And so I ripped up all them letters that she sent me
I cried for like 3 days then it was back to my evil ways

They say I gotta change my evil ways
And I'm workin' hard at it every day
But no matter what I do I seem to make
The same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

If love is just a game that people play
And practice makes perfect is what they say
But no matter what I do I seem to make
The same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

They say I gotta change my evil ways
And I'm workin' hard at it every day
But no matter what I do I seem to make
The same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to

If love is just a game that people play
And practice makes perfect is what they say
But no matter what I do I seem to make
The same mistakes that I'm tryin' not to