I've always said I do too easy
And now I'm payin' the price
My weakness for beautiful women
Is my most expensive vice

I still believe in matrimony
But I can't afford another try
Child support and alimony
Is just about to bleed me dry

I got ex's all across the country
And I owe everybody in town
I got bill collectors callin' me up
And lawyers tryin' to track me down

I'm just one wrong move from the poor house
But I don't belong in there
I got so many ex's and owe so much
I ought to be on Hollywood squares
Yeah, I ought to be on Hollywood squares

Lookin' back over my love life
I only have myself to blame
I guess I should've checked my price tag
Before I gave 'em my last name

Now my credit rating's in the gutter
And the bottom line sure looks bad
I'll be payin' the rest of my life
For the few good times I've had

I got ex's all across the country
And I owe everybody in town
I got bill collectors callin' me up
And lawyers tryin' to track me down

I'm just one wrong move from the poor house
But I don't belong in there
I got so many ex's and owe so much
I ought to be on Hollywood squares
Hear they oughtta put me on Hollywood squares